“A run begins the moment you forget you are running”

- Adidas

A few posts ago, I talked about how hooked I am on running with my iPod. I’m still hooked on it for treadmill training, as I still find “gripple trouble” to be an entertaining concept. But over the last several weeks, I’ve worked hard to overcome my iPod dependency when running outdoors. If I would run in the afternoons, then I’d probably still use the iPod. But since I usually run in the pre-dawn through either my ridiculously safe suburban neighborhood or a ridiculously safe metro park, I’m well aware of the need for me to be able to hear an ax-wielding stranger wearing a hockey mask sneaking up behind me. Or a car. Whatever.

To take my mind off hockey masks and cars, I usually let my mind wander in between mileage checkpoints, which I define as “the points at which I look at my watch to see how far I am behind my goal pace.” I thought it would be interesting to share with you the narrative in my head while on a short training run.

Not many people know this, but runs can always be broken into down into several stages, similar to the Tour de Lance. Each stage can be clearly identified by what’s going through your mind at that moment in time. Really! You can look it up. It’s as much a scientific fact as photosynthesis. Here’s what I’m thinking at each stage of a run:

Stage 1: Typically < 0.5 miles

“Geez my legs hurt. I don’t think I can run the whole distance. Maybe I’ll cut it short. Show some determination, you wimp. Those people need to trim their grass along the sidewalk – the neighborhood is going to the dogs. Wish that house would turn their sprinklers off, because I don’t want to get wet. I shouldn’t have eaten that Clif Bar.”

This is the “I’d Rather be Chewing Broken Glass than Doing This” stage. At this point, it takes all of the energy and discipline that I have to not just turn around, go home, and eat a box of pop tarts for breakfast.

Stage 2: Typically 0.25 miles

“I’m going too fast. No, I’m going too slow. I’m too cold but my feet are too hot. Boy, I’m hungry, but I already ate. I’m thirsty, but I don’t want my water. I think my shoelace is coming untied. No? Then my shoes are probably too tight. These shorts are going to give me runner’s rash. My ears hurt. Do I look fat in this? Shut up, I wasn’t asking you.”

This is my “Whining like a Sommelier” stage. By this point, I’ve decided to continue my run but I’m not very happy with myself. This stage is purely transitional. I always get past it and on to the next stage.

Stage 3: Anywhere from 0.25 miles to 2.0 miles

“If I won the Mega Millions, I’d definitely get a couple more pairs of these synthetic socks. And maybe an iPhone. Ty Pennington is somehow overrated and underrated at the same time. Is my fake Boston accent as bad as my wife says it is? It would be cool to find a real flux capacitor. I bet if I had really applied myself in college, I could have triple-majored in neuroscience, nuclear physics and biomechanical engineering and won a Nobel Prize.

This is the stage where there are no limits. Maybe I’m thinking about time travel or maybe I’m thinking about a project at work. This is obviously my “Daydreaming About Random Things” stage.

Stage 4: Anywhere from 0.1 to 8.0 miles

“I can run forever. I can’t believe I feel this good.”

This is runner’s high. Sometimes runner’s high comes and goes in the blink of an eye. Other times it sticks with you for an hour or longer. The key to any good run is getting to this stage. Without runner’s high, you’re just a hamster on a wheel.

Stage 5: Typically the last 100 yards

“Wow, I feel like I really accomplished something this morning. I can’t believe I’ve kept this strong of a pace. Which of my 38 sore muscles should I stretch first? I wish I had an icepack. If someone is using my spot at the stretching station I might have to get my ax and hockey mask out of the trunk.”

I call this the “I Can See the Finish Line and Everything is Real Again” Stage.  At this point, my mind has moved on to whatever I’m going to do to recover from the run and how late I am for whatever I’m supposed to be doing next.

What goes through your mind when you’re out on a run? Any funny thoughts? Good stories?

Eric’s GOALS Report Card

We’re probably way past the time that I should have given you an update on my annual goals. Here’s where things stand right now, and before you ask the question, yes – I’m very aware that my grades have slipped.

1. Run two half marathons in 2009 and at least three 5k races

Grade: B (down from an A earlier in the summer)

The Nationwide Better Health Columbus Half Marathon will be my second half marathon this year. I have already raced one 5k, but don’t have any other scheduled for the year. I’m coming off an injury, and trying not to deviate from my training plan so I don’t put my second half marathon at risk. If I’m going to hit this goal in 2009, I’m going to have to run two 5K races after the half marathon in October.

2. Finish the Nationwide Better Health Columbus Half Marathon in less than 137 minutes

Grade: D

Barring something dramatic happening, I’m going to miss this target. I finished a training run in Central Park while on vacation back in July, and had such horrible shin pain afterward that I was concerned I had a stress fracture and not just a bad case of shin splints. After a couple rounds of x-rays and more than four weeks of rest and icing at least twice a day, I’m finally running again without any pain. My revised goal is to just get through training and finish the race without injury.

3. Reach my high school in-season weight of 160 lbs by race day in October

Grade: B (down from an A- earlier this summer)

Since my training has been somewhat curtailed, my weight has not dropped any further. In fact, I’ve gained a couple of pounds in the last month. I’m hoping that getting back into training will help me push below 170 and come close to my goal. At this point I’d say my goal of reaching 160 is at-risk, but I can probably get back to my out-of-season high school weight of 165.

Have you experienced any recent injuries or barriers to achieving your goals? What adjustments have you made to help overcome your challenges?