Since I first started training to become a half marathoner last winter, I’ve learned a lot about running and fitness. At my first race, I heard all kinds of new words that I didn’t understand. Fortunately for you, I’m willing to share the words I’ve learned, as well as what I think the definitions are.
Corral (noun)
An area before the starting line of a race where you realize that you forgot to put on your deodorant that morning; fortunately, the other 389 people squeezed into your 15×15 corral did the same, so there’s no reason to be embarrassed – everyone around you stinks, too: “The corral at the start of a half marathon reminds me of my high school locker room in mid-August.”
Finish Line (noun)
The point at which a person collapses and/or begins sobbing like a baby: “Every time I see Rudy tackle that guy from Georgia Tech in the movie, I hit the finish line.”
Lemon Sublime GU (noun)
Liquid energy; somewhat controversial, as some think it tastes like 8-week-old bananas whereas others would like to see GU-flavored desserts on the menu at The Burgundy Room: “We’ll have the carpaccio, the seared tuna, two glasses of the second-cheapest Malbec on the menu, and the Lemon Sublime GU-flavored crème brulee.”
Heart Rate Monitor (noun)
Something that seems like a cool idea when you buy it, but ends up never being used: “Buying flood insurance when you live at the top of a mountain is a heart rate monitor type of idea.”
Interval (verb)
The act of vomiting at regularly intermittent times while on a run; typically caused by the selection of a poor pre-race diet: “I had pizza and Beck’s Light on Monday night, and on my Tuesday morning run I had to interval every 800 meters.”
iPod (noun)
A device some people use to lose themselves… in the moment… you own it… you better never let it go… you only get one shot…
Negative Split (noun)
The theory that someone can pace themselves in such a way that the second half of their run is faster than the first half; typically associated with mermaids and unicorns, only slightly more rare for first-time runners: “The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is nothing but a negative split.”
Shin Splint (noun)
A pain like no other; the bane of many runners’ existence: “I know she gave birth to quadruplets after 43 hours of labor without an epidural, but it could’ve been worse. She could’ve had shin splints.” (Sorry Jen). (Sorry Mom).
Starting Line (noun)
That line that takes five minutes for me to cross because I’m starting in a corral that’s so far back, I have 90-year-olds with walkers passing me: “The race started 20 minutes ago, but I haven’t moved yet. I just want to start my iPod and maintain a negative split pace. If I don’t get out of this corral, I’m going to interval all over the place before I even reach the starting line.”
What new things have you learned in your training? Do you have any personal definitions to share?
I’m no English major but isn’t “heart rate monitor” as you are using it in the sentence an adjective?
Let’s hear it for “nipple guards”; I initially thought “what the heck”, but saw the light during a long run one hot summer day…
LOVE IT! Here’s another one for you:
Taper (noun) a time period where your activity levels are reduced, anxiety increases exponentially, pains accumulate and you start to doubt your abilities to run two miles, let alone 13.1 (or 26.2!)
Taper (verb) an act of physically and psychologically avoiding the activity which you have trained so intensively for the past several months to perform.
HIIT- High Intensity Interval Trainiing. did my first one today
Taper!
Nice one Megan
Good suggestions everyone… and yes, I think “heart rate monitor” in that example is actually an adjective. I obviously wasn’t an English major either.
The “nipple guards” comment got me thinking that I should have added Body Glide to the vocabulary list.
Body Glide (noun): Something that sounds a lot dirtier than it really is; a substance that sometimes prevents chafing and always makes you feel greasy: “Grease II was so low-budget that I think Adrian Zmed’s pompador was held in place with Body Glide.”
Here’s a term to ponder: Snot Rocket
I don’t have a suitable definition but it’s food for thought. Ooooh! Bad choice of words.
Snot Rocket: When the projectile that comes out of your nose actually increases your speed. Yahoo !!!
Bill H — great comment. Almost made gatorade come out of my nose.
Gary T — love the definition. It’s like a turbo boost…