“Let’s play two.”

– Ernie Banks

In this week’s post, I’d first like to thank my friend and colleague Ted Hill for his contributions to the blog last week. I hope you enjoyed the variety. I’d also like to congratulate Ted and his wife on the birth of their new baby girl. Congratulations, guys! Ted – does anyone make a three-seater running stroller? Might be worth looking into that for next year’s training…

Unfortunately, there will be no future guest bloggers and the rest of you are stuck with me from here on.

So it’s back to the topic of the week. The comments you posted here and Facebook traffic generated by the first post about my iPod playlist was so overwhelming that, similar to the Beatles Anthology, it makes sense to release volume two of songs on my workout mix. Please remember that I can in no way be held liable for injuries incurred while dancing to any of these songs during a training session.

“Dreams” by Van Halen

This is a great example of a training song with several changes of pace. Somehow I find myself daydreaming about crossing the finish line to this song, so I’d like to formally request to the Nationwide Better Health Columbus Marathon that Van Halen is scheduled as the band that plays closest to the finish line. That’s not too much to ask, right?

On a side note, I have a few friends who like to ponder whether Van Halen was better with David Lee Roth or with Sammy Hagar as their front man. The answer is a no-brainer, so I won’t even waste space discussing it here other than to say David Lee Roth is horrible and is more over-the-top than Flavor Flav. My friends who disagree have taste in music that is questionable, at best.

All you Sammy Hagar fans out there can feel free to leave comments below telling me how right I am and how my friends have horrible taste in music. Or, if you’d like to participate in a little social media experiment, you can tell my friends more directly just how poor their musical taste is by e-mailing them. Feel free to send your grievances (and appropriate insults) to Chris at cjhocevar@yahoo.com or to Bill at william.everett@cox.net. I’m sure they’ll appreciate hearing from you. Please tell them I said hello. Diamond Dave fans are going to have to wait until the blog is re-released in a coloring book version so they can share their comments.

“My Name is Jonas” by Weezer

The guitar riff in this song is perfect for interval training. Comedian Dane Cook does a funny bit about just walking up to random people on the street and singing the opening lyrics:

“My name is Jonas.

I’m carrying the wheel.

Thanks for all you’ve shown us.

This is how we feel.”

Irrespective of how funny you think it might be, don’t do that as you’re passing someone while you’re running unless you’d like an eyeful of mace. Also, the police officer who comes to investigate won’t believe it was a joke and may try to have you committed and/or incarcerated. Just trust that I know what I’m talking about on this one.

Also, I’d discourage you from listening to several other Weezer songs, most notably “Undone – The Sweater Song,” during your workouts. It’s easy to make the mistake of imagining the lyrics actually happening to someone during a break-up (“if you want to destroy my sweater hold this thread as I walk away”) and laughing so hard that you have to stop to catch your breath. That may be the greatest and most stupid song lyric of all time.

“What’s the Frequency Kenneth” by R.E.M.

Since high school, I’ve gone back and forth as to whether I loved R.E.M. or if I couldn’t stand them. Every time I hear this song, I remember why I sometimes like them so much. I think this is the best possible wake-me-up song for the first mile of an early morning run. As long as nobody makes me listen to “Orange Crush” ever again I’ll probably maintain my fandom. Three little know facts about this song:

• The beat actually slows down from the beginning to the end of the song because during studio recording, R.E.M. bassist Mike Mills was in pain from having appendicitis and couldn’t keep up. The band never re-recorded it for their album.
• The title of this song references an incident in the mid-1980s when a crazy person physically assaulted Dan Rather while screaming “what’s the frequency, Kenneth?” at him the whole time.
• The crazy person who assaulted Dan Rather eventually discovered transcendental meditation and became the Dalai Lama.

“The Rockafeller Skank” by Fatboy Slim

Some of you probably know this as the “right about now…funk soul brother, check it out now… funk soul brother” song from the late 1990s. Those are pretty much the only lyrics in this song, which in my mind will always be tied to a bad Freddy Prinze Jr. movie. Wait … is there any other kind of Freddy Prinze Jr. movie? Anyway, the song is great, regardless of its pedigree.

I’m not much of a techno fan, but something about Fatboy Slim music makes me ready to charge up a hill. In fact, on a couple of runs I quickly skipped my iPod to this song in an effort to keep my pace when approaching a steep incline. I’m not sure if it really works or if I’ve just convinced myself that it does, but this song definitely makes me think I can handle anything in front of me.

I’d like to close this week’s post with a special offer for you — I’ll grant some Nationwide Better Health Columbus Marathon bonus points to those of you who already knew the first two little-known facts about “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth.” I think you’ll be able to redeem those points at the pre-race Expo for a three-mile head start on race day. Just look for the guy in the orange shirt and tell him your name is Jonas and that Kenneth told you the frequency. And to those who didn’t realize the Dalai Lama reference was a joke, please remove the Crayolas from your nostrils and stop arguing the David Lee Roth counterpoint. Your efforts are futile.

A few questions to get the comments rolling:

• What else do you have on your workout mix?
• Has anything rotated off the mix because you heard it too much?
• Which of the summer 2009 anthems have you added to your workout playlist?
• Do you think the Black Eyed Peas’ “Boom Boom Pow” is destined to be one of the greatest bad songs of all time (think “Ice, Ice, Baby”) or one of the worst good songs ever (think “Paradise by the Dashboard Light”)?