“If you want to accomplish the goals of your life, you have to begin with the spirit.”

– Oprah Winfrey

I can’t believe I’m opening my last blog post for the 2009 Nationwide Better Health Columbus Marathon with a quote from Oprah Winfrey, but it seemed very appropriate. Finishing a marathon or a half marathon is a great accomplishment, and without the right spirit it would be difficult to stay motivated. That’s part of the idea behind the Nationwide Better Health Columbus Marathon Spirit Awards; recognizing people who have overcome significant obstacles to achieve their goal of participating in the event.  So… don’t tell anyone, but I agree with Oprah on this one. You need to begin with the spirit in order to accomplish anything.

Now that the race has come and gone, I thought I’d use this final post to update you guys on my report card and share my race day experience with you. First, my report card:

1. Run two half marathons in 2009 and at least three 5K races

Grade: trending toward an A+

At the last update, I had run the Capital City Half Marathon and the Race for the Cure. Now I have added the Nationwide Better Health Columbus Half Marathon and the Homestretch 10-miler to my list of races in 2009. I’ve probably already exceeded this goal by subbing a 10-mile race for two 5Ks, but just to be safe I’m going to run another race – at least a 5K – before the end of the year.

2. Finish the Nationwide Better Health Columbus Half Marathon in less than 137 minutes

Grade: C

I improved my time from May, but didn’t meet this goal. That’s mostly because I spent about 6 weeks this summer injured and unable to train. Back in August, I said when I was finally healthy again that my revised goal was to finish the race without injury, and I accomplished that.

3. Reach my high school in-season weight of 160 lbs by race day in October

Grade: D

Again, the six weeks that I lost hurt my chances of hitting this goal. On race morning, I weighed 171 lbs, about 6 lbs more than my weight on the day I graduated and 11 lbs over my goal of weighing the same as I did during soccer season in high school. I’m going to extend this goal into December and revise my weight target to 165. That way I’ll be able to potentially get down to 160 in time for the spring races.

By my calculations that works out to a C average, which would be enough to keep me eligible, but nothing I’d write home about. Let’s not dwell on it and move on to my race day experience.

I wedged myself into the starting corral with my one of my closest friends – and a 2009 Nationwide Better Health Columbus Marathon Spirit Award winner – Aaron Irwin and his sister Jocelyn. This was Aaron’s first half marathon and my second, but his sister is an accomplished marathoner who ran Boston a few years ago. It probably pained her to move so slowly to keep pace with us, but I had warned her ahead of time that I wasn’t too proud to ask her to slow down. As the starting gun sounded, we took off our old sweats and tossed them into the crowd like everyone else. The sight of 15,000 people all throwing clothes in the air reminded me of middle-aged women at a Wayne Newton concert.

It took us almost five minutes to cross the starting line, but once we did, we set off at a nice even pace. The first familiar face I saw in the crowd was at Mile 1… my wife Jennifer was standing there shivering, but still smiling.

Those next two miles heading east on Broad Street were an easy run and got more and more scenic as we got deeper into the course. At the corner of Parkview and Broad we saw Aaron and Jocelyn’s parents, who snapped a few pictures of us turning north onto Parkview. As we headed up the street, the road got a lot narrower and everyone bunched together – it was snug, but still comfortable. About halfway up Parkview I saw my boss Jim, who gave me a shout of encouragement. I also got a high-five from Governor Strickland, who was standing on his front lawn with First Lady Frances Strickland cheering the runners on.

The run through the rest of Bexley was one of the highlights of the morning. The crowds were vocal, supportive, and very familiar faces to my running partners and me. During that three-mile stretch, we saw Aaron and Jocelyn’s parents one more time, and some other people that you most likely won’t know, but I want to give them a shout out, anyway – Gerry and Eileen, Susan H, Tom B, Ted S, and several other familiar faces were all cheering us on, with several other people screaming out Aaron’s and Jocelyn’s names as we ran past. We stopped for a few pictures, chatted with friends in the crowd and generally just enjoyed that stretch of the course.

Since most of our friends were lining the street in Bexley, the turn from Nelson Road past Franklin Park Conservatory and back to Broad Street gave us a chance to talk more without having to look for friends in the crowd. I told a couple of stories about my kids, Jocelyn saw a new friend either in the crowd or on the course every three minutes and Aaron kept plugging along, looking like an Abercrombie & Fitch model the whole time. We also caught up with Nicole G and ran with her for a couple miles.

I saw Jen once more as we made the turn south from Broad onto Monroe and then West onto Bryden, where we made a quick stop at the port-a-potties. While approaching City Center, we got a few words of encouragement from another friend of ours (a collective friend, not a “friend of ours” in the Sopranos “friend-of-ours” way) Emily H, who said that she has been reading the blog and that she read about Aaron’s Spirit Award along with the nine other amazing stories on the website.

The run south from downtown into German Village was pretty uneventful, save for about half a dozen guys from Aaron’s old basketball team screaming for him from the sidewalk close to The Book Loft on South Third Street. As we came to Schiller Park, I got a “Who Dey” from my friend Jon M, who was tracking his wife and sister-in-law as they were running their first marathon that morning.  Our lap around Schiller was a nice run and provided a great interlude to the uphill run back into downtown.

We could see the Nationwide building – our last turn before heading to the finish line – as we headed North through the Brewery District. I had to stop and stretch my leg a couple times, but was able to recover enough to handle the slight incline back into downtown. The final turn onto Nationwide Boulevard was like the scene in The Wizard of Oz when everything turns from black and white into color. It felt like there were ten thousand people cheering during that last 400 meters. We saw Aaron and Jocelyn’s parents, our friend Kevin R, and heard several people in the crowd screaming our names as we accelerated toward the finish line. The three of us crossed the finish line together in 2:29:02 feeling happy, exhausted, emotional, hungry, tired, proud, sore, and cold, but also looking forward to next year.

I’d love to hear your stories about race day. Please use the comment space below to tell us about your race day experience.  Thanks everyone!!!

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There are a lot of people who have helped me over the past several months with the blog – either directly or indirectly. I thought a good way to close my last post of the year would be to thank a few who have helped produce the blog, given me advice, or kept me motivated:

• Kara, Marwan, John, Christa, Todd, Carrie, Tim, Matt, Lisa, Kevin, Joe, Bill, Sara, Julie, Jocelyn, and all of my other runner friends: Thanks for the knowledge about Gu, Body Glide, stretching, and countless other things that I used in my training.
• The team at Huber+Co: Thanks for being willing to work the blog into the website. BTW – the TweetMyTime idea is a winner. That was awesome. My wife was able to track my half marathon progress because she could see my tweets via the Facebook application on her BlackBerry at the starting line and 10K mark. On a side note, had you told me fifteen years ago that someday I would write a sentence that included the words wife, half marathon, tweets, Facebook application, Blackberry, and 10K, I would’ve assumed I was writing it from a padded room.
• Sarah Irvin Clark and Scott Weaver: Thanks for all of the Facebook support, the tweets, and the traffic steerage to the blog. You are consummate professionals and have been a pleasure to work with.
• Ray Smithberger: I love the report card idea and will probably carry that forward in a few different parts of my life.
• Dr. Dennis Schone and Dr. Tony Blevins at HealthFirst Chiropractic in Pickerington, Sara Jacobowitz at Hands On Therapy in Gahanna and Dr. Jeff Bare: Without your help, I probably would have spent Sunday morning curled up on my couch with ice packs all over my body. I owe you each a huge debt of gratitude.
• Ted Hill: Your guest blog spot was hilarious. Thanks for being willing to put yourself out there and to needle me a little bit. Maybe next year I’ll join you for 26.2… Ask me again in a few months.
• Randy Benedict and the team at Second Sole: You guys REALLY know your stuff and have been a tremendous help. Without reservation, I’d recommend to any new runner that they head out to your store in Gahanna to absorb as much knowledge as they can from you guys.
• All of the readers and people who commented: You are the reason the blog works. Without comments and engagement from readers, then the blog is just a bunch of words on a screen. The comments and hits to the site are what really indicate whether the blog is useful or just the blogger’s useless drivel.
• Aaron Irwin: It was an inspiration to run 13.1 miles with you. I enjoyed every minute of it and look forward to us maybe doing it again next year.
• Jocelyn Irwin: Thanks for throttling back your normal pace to keep us company on Sunday.
• The brains of this operation, Ashley Heilman: A lot of readers probably don’t realize the amount of work this blog takes. The content of the blog is my style and my personality, but Ashley is the one who takes the time to turn my rambling commentary and fungus-like jokes into something that’s actually readable. Your countless hours spent improving the blog have not gone unnoticed. Thank you for all of your work over the last several months.
• My family: Thanks for the support and the comments, especially early on in the blog’s life when you were probably the only people reading it.
• My wife, Jen: I don’t think I even need to say it, which it good because words wouldn’t come close to expressing it. Thanks for being supportive through this whole crazy thing.

Take care everyone, and I hope to see you all next year!

Well folks, we’re into the home stretch. All the training and sweat, all the pain and ice, all the miles, all the pairs of new shoes, all the runner’s rashes, gnarled toes, shin splints and effort comes down to 7:30 a.m. on Sunday, October 18. But there’s no need to be nervous. This is everything you need to know on race day:

Don’t do anything for the first time on race day. It’s not a time to experiment. If you always stretch before a long run and someone is telling you now that you shouldn’t, don’t listen to them. Same thing with new shoes, new socks, new GU flavors, etc. Avoid anything new on October 18 and stay in your comfort zone. If you think you need to switch sports drinks, then do it on your first run after the race. This piece of advice trumps anything else I’ve written below.

Go heavy on the body glide. You may not pay for it during the race, but you’ll definitely pay for it afterward.

Make sure you eat something before the race. I’m sure you’ll be smart enough to carb up in the days leading up to the race, but make sure you eat something that will sit well in your stomach for a few hours. Too heavy and you’ll need to stop during the race. Too light and you might not have enough of a calorie reserve to maintain your pace.

Be prepared to stand around for a while before the race. If it’s cold outside, bring your oldest and rattiest pair of sweats, or an otherwise tattered outfit to wear before the race. You’ll appreciate the warmth for every extra minute, and you’ll likely never see those clothes again after you take them off as you enter the starting corral.

Don’t be afraid to walk through the aid stations. That is, unless you’re trying to qualify for Boston or set a personal record. A ton of people walk through the aid stations to pick up water or Gatorade. There’s no shame in walking for a few seconds to replenish. Just make sure you are aware of others around you when you are doing so.

Bring an extra GU packet. Energy gel will be available on the course at mile 7.5 and 16, but it’s probably good to avoid a situation where you wish you had one but didn’t.

Don’t wear an iPod. I know that I’m a bit of a hypocrite on this one because I love my iPod for training, but there will be 65 bands and tens of thousands of people lining the course on race day.  If all that music and all those people yelling out encouragement to you can’t keep you motivated, then nothing will.  Trust me, you won’t need the iPod.

Bring your own watch. It will take you a little while to cross the starting line unless you’re up with the elite runners, so your start time will not be 00:00:00 on the official clock. It will be easier for you to track your pace if you start your watch once you hit the start line rather than trying to think through the pace calculations at each mileage marker.

In addition to the info above, there’s only one thing you need to remember as a first time runner. It happens to almost every first time marathoner and half-marathoner and is usually an absolutely critical mistake: whatever you do, don’t ever – EVER – even think about

Know anyone who wants to be a part of the NBHCM, minus the walking, running or wheelchair/handcycle racing? It takes more than 1,200 volunteers to put on the NBHCM every year. With nearly 15,000 athletes expected in Columbus on Oct. 18, it takes lots of support from the greater Central Ohio community to make the NBHCM a great experience for everyone. Any person or group is welcome to volunteer for the NBHCM. Numerous positions are still available, including support at the Expo on Friday and Saturday, course marshalls at stations throughout the course on race day and even finish line volunteers. It’s fun, easy, and also a great activity for any group that wants to support the event. Help do your part to make the NBHCM 30^th anniversary a year to remember. If you have family or friends who would like to help out, please send them to columbusmarathon.com/volunteers to sign up for one of the many volunteer opportunities.

Does anyone else out there have tips for race day?

Since I first started training to become a half marathoner last winter, I’ve learned a lot about running and fitness. At my first race, I heard all kinds of new words that I didn’t understand. Fortunately for you, I’m willing to share the words I’ve learned, as well as what I think the definitions are.

Corral (noun)

An area before the starting line of a race where you realize that you forgot to put on your deodorant that morning; fortunately, the other 389 people squeezed into your 15×15 corral did the same, so there’s no reason to be embarrassed – everyone around you stinks, too: “The corral at the start of a half marathon reminds me of my high school locker room in mid-August.”

Finish Line (noun)

The point at which a person collapses and/or begins sobbing like a baby: “Every time I see Rudy tackle that guy from Georgia Tech in the movie, I hit the finish line.”

Lemon Sublime GU (noun)

Liquid energy; somewhat controversial, as some think it tastes like 8-week-old bananas whereas others would like to see GU-flavored desserts on the menu at The Burgundy Room: “We’ll have the carpaccio, the seared tuna, two glasses of the second-cheapest Malbec on the menu, and the Lemon Sublime GU-flavored crème brulee.”

Heart Rate Monitor (noun)

Something that seems like a cool idea when you buy it, but ends up never being used: “Buying flood insurance when you live at the top of a mountain is a heart rate monitor type of idea.”

Interval (verb)

The act of vomiting at regularly intermittent times while on a run; typically caused by the selection of a poor pre-race diet: “I had pizza and Beck’s Light on Monday night, and on my Tuesday morning run I had to interval every 800 meters.”

iPod (noun)

A device some people use to lose themselves… in the moment… you own it… you better never let it go… you only get one shot…

Negative Split (noun)

The theory that someone can pace themselves in such a way that the second half of their run is faster than the first half; typically associated with mermaids and unicorns, only slightly more rare for first-time runners: “The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is nothing but a negative split.”

Shin Splint (noun)

A pain like no other; the bane of many runners’ existence: “I know she gave birth to quadruplets after 43 hours of labor without an epidural, but it could’ve been worse. She could’ve had shin splints.” (Sorry Jen). (Sorry Mom).

Starting Line (noun)

That line that takes five minutes for me to cross because I’m starting in a corral that’s so far back, I have 90-year-olds with walkers passing me: “The race started 20 minutes ago, but I haven’t moved yet. I just want to start my iPod and maintain a negative split pace. If I don’t get out of this corral, I’m going to interval all over the place before I even reach the starting line.”

What new things have you learned in your training? Do you have any personal definitions to share?

“Let’s play two.”

– Ernie Banks

In this week’s post, I’d first like to thank my friend and colleague Ted Hill for his contributions to the blog last week. I hope you enjoyed the variety. I’d also like to congratulate Ted and his wife on the birth of their new baby girl. Congratulations, guys! Ted – does anyone make a three-seater running stroller? Might be worth looking into that for next year’s training…

Unfortunately, there will be no future guest bloggers and the rest of you are stuck with me from here on.

So it’s back to the topic of the week. The comments you posted here and Facebook traffic generated by the first post about my iPod playlist was so overwhelming that, similar to the Beatles Anthology, it makes sense to release volume two of songs on my workout mix. Please remember that I can in no way be held liable for injuries incurred while dancing to any of these songs during a training session.

“Dreams” by Van Halen

This is a great example of a training song with several changes of pace. Somehow I find myself daydreaming about crossing the finish line to this song, so I’d like to formally request to the Nationwide Better Health Columbus Marathon that Van Halen is scheduled as the band that plays closest to the finish line. That’s not too much to ask, right?

On a side note, I have a few friends who like to ponder whether Van Halen was better with David Lee Roth or with Sammy Hagar as their front man. The answer is a no-brainer, so I won’t even waste space discussing it here other than to say David Lee Roth is horrible and is more over-the-top than Flavor Flav. My friends who disagree have taste in music that is questionable, at best.

All you Sammy Hagar fans out there can feel free to leave comments below telling me how right I am and how my friends have horrible taste in music. Or, if you’d like to participate in a little social media experiment, you can tell my friends more directly just how poor their musical taste is by e-mailing them. Feel free to send your grievances (and appropriate insults) to Chris at cjhocevar@yahoo.com or to Bill at william.everett@cox.net. I’m sure they’ll appreciate hearing from you. Please tell them I said hello. Diamond Dave fans are going to have to wait until the blog is re-released in a coloring book version so they can share their comments.

“My Name is Jonas” by Weezer

The guitar riff in this song is perfect for interval training. Comedian Dane Cook does a funny bit about just walking up to random people on the street and singing the opening lyrics:

“My name is Jonas.

I’m carrying the wheel.

Thanks for all you’ve shown us.

This is how we feel.”

Irrespective of how funny you think it might be, don’t do that as you’re passing someone while you’re running unless you’d like an eyeful of mace. Also, the police officer who comes to investigate won’t believe it was a joke and may try to have you committed and/or incarcerated. Just trust that I know what I’m talking about on this one.

Also, I’d discourage you from listening to several other Weezer songs, most notably “Undone – The Sweater Song,” during your workouts. It’s easy to make the mistake of imagining the lyrics actually happening to someone during a break-up (“if you want to destroy my sweater hold this thread as I walk away”) and laughing so hard that you have to stop to catch your breath. That may be the greatest and most stupid song lyric of all time.

“What’s the Frequency Kenneth” by R.E.M.

Since high school, I’ve gone back and forth as to whether I loved R.E.M. or if I couldn’t stand them. Every time I hear this song, I remember why I sometimes like them so much. I think this is the best possible wake-me-up song for the first mile of an early morning run. As long as nobody makes me listen to “Orange Crush” ever again I’ll probably maintain my fandom. Three little know facts about this song:

• The beat actually slows down from the beginning to the end of the song because during studio recording, R.E.M. bassist Mike Mills was in pain from having appendicitis and couldn’t keep up. The band never re-recorded it for their album.
• The title of this song references an incident in the mid-1980s when a crazy person physically assaulted Dan Rather while screaming “what’s the frequency, Kenneth?” at him the whole time.
• The crazy person who assaulted Dan Rather eventually discovered transcendental meditation and became the Dalai Lama.

“The Rockafeller Skank” by Fatboy Slim

Some of you probably know this as the “right about now…funk soul brother, check it out now… funk soul brother” song from the late 1990s. Those are pretty much the only lyrics in this song, which in my mind will always be tied to a bad Freddy Prinze Jr. movie. Wait … is there any other kind of Freddy Prinze Jr. movie? Anyway, the song is great, regardless of its pedigree.

I’m not much of a techno fan, but something about Fatboy Slim music makes me ready to charge up a hill. In fact, on a couple of runs I quickly skipped my iPod to this song in an effort to keep my pace when approaching a steep incline. I’m not sure if it really works or if I’ve just convinced myself that it does, but this song definitely makes me think I can handle anything in front of me.

I’d like to close this week’s post with a special offer for you — I’ll grant some Nationwide Better Health Columbus Marathon bonus points to those of you who already knew the first two little-known facts about “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth.” I think you’ll be able to redeem those points at the pre-race Expo for a three-mile head start on race day. Just look for the guy in the orange shirt and tell him your name is Jonas and that Kenneth told you the frequency. And to those who didn’t realize the Dalai Lama reference was a joke, please remove the Crayolas from your nostrils and stop arguing the David Lee Roth counterpoint. Your efforts are futile.

A few questions to get the comments rolling:

• What else do you have on your workout mix?
• Has anything rotated off the mix because you heard it too much?
• Which of the summer 2009 anthems have you added to your workout playlist?
• Do you think the Black Eyed Peas’ “Boom Boom Pow” is destined to be one of the greatest bad songs of all time (think “Ice, Ice, Baby”) or one of the worst good songs ever (think “Paradise by the Dashboard Light”)?