“A lot of people run a race to see who’s fastest. I run to see who has the most guts.”
- Steve Prefontaine

One of the most interesting things about running in a marathon, half-marathon, or even a 5K, is the different types of runners you see during the race. As a marketer, I tend to lump people into segments. Based on my experience and observations, there are three different runner segments.

The Real Deals

These are the runners that show up an hour before the race to secure a spot right on the starting line. Typically strong, lean and muscular, Real Deals’ natural habitat is made up of a combination of yoga, granola, GU, Gatorade, and Body Glide. Real Deals are often found twisting themselves into pretzels illustrating how to properly stretch an IT band while sipping coconut water with a lemon twist.

The Steve Post-fontaines

Polar opposites of the Real Deals, Steve Post-fontaines are people whose best years are long behind them and are trying to rediscover their inner athlete (with a small “a”) through running. I think I’m the prototype for this segment. Once a four-sport high school athlete, I am now relegated to sports that require no cutting or lateral movements – running, cycling, swimming,
and golf – not necessarily in that order. You can spot the Steve Post-fontaines by their shiny new running gear, the remnants of what was at one time a larger gut, and the frostbite from all of the ice massages.

The I Need to Look Good for My Class Reunions Every Five Years (a.k.a. INLGMCREFYs, pronounced “Ingle McReffies”)

Also known as recreational runners, INGLMCREFYs can be found anywhere pushing a jogging stroller, wearing awesome striped 80s headbands, or doing laps around your block. INGLMCREFYs are the core runner group and make up the largest segment – approximately 70 percent of the running community. Without INGLMCREFYs, the Nationwide Better Health Columbus Half Marathon would be polarized, with the Second Sole employees finishing a half marathon in 1:20 and then looping back to Bexley to run the last seven miles with me and the rest of the Post-fontaines.

There are some sub-segments within each of these categories… I’d love to hear what other type of runners might be out there. Feel free to post your comments below.

And finally, for those INGLMCREFYs and Steve Post-fontaines who simply guess at what goes into a proper diet during training season, I’ve asked one of our lifestyle health coaches from Nationwide Better Health to guest blog and give us some nutrition tips. Real Deals can skip the post, which launches next Tuesday, because they already have their daily caloric intake down to
a science.

“The man at the top of the mountain did not fall there.”
- Unknown

To me, the sound of the alarm clock at 5 a.m. is like fingernails being dragged across a chalkboard. It startles me out of my slumber, causes my ears to bleed and makes me wish I had gone to bed earlier the night before. But it also provides notice that I have a chance to get my fat butt out of bed and get my run on. I’d love to be able to tell you that I have the discipline to lace up my running shoes every time the alarm goes off, but sometimes I’m just not feeling it. It all comes down to motivation.

Motivation is an odd thing. I’m sure some runners run for the sense of accomplishment at the end of the race or because they’ve always run and can’t imagine not running. I wish I fell into one of those two buckets, but the truth is that I run for some combination of accomplishment, health and solitude.

Accomplishment

Nothing beats the feeling of finishing a run. I’ve run three half marathons over the last couple of years, and that feeling of crossing the finish line is one of the greatest natural highs anyone could ever feel. That said, I really get a similar charge out of a long training run.

There’s something about being up at dawn and seeing lights come on around the neighborhood an hour into a run. I really feel like I’m accomplishing something special. Plus, I feel great for the rest of the day. I’ve had weekend mornings where I’ve put in 8 miles and then met friends at the golf course for a 10 a.m. tee time. It’s kind of fun to be able to say that I’ve already gotten in a 90-minute workout before even reaching the first tee. Plus, it provides me with an excuse to play worse than bogey golf.

Health

I really started to get into running as I got older and my cholesterol numbers began creeping upward. My doctor pretty much scared me into running to maintain (gain?) a level of physical fitness. I’ve found that keeping a good training schedule and pushing myself has not only had a good impact on my blood scores, but I also see a corresponding drop in the numbers on the scale. The only downside to this is that I have to keep buying new pants, but I guess that would fall under the header of “Vanity” instead of “Health.” Either way, it’s definitely part of my motivation.

Solitude

I don’t think anyone who knows me would be surprised to hear my Myers-Briggs scores indicate that I’m an extrovert, but I still need some solitude every now and then. This is the primary reason that I have eschewed training with a partner. I think having a running partner would definitely help me get out of bed at 5 a.m. more often, but I feel like having a training partner would prevent me from using an early morning run to clear my head, plan out my day and just enjoy the silence.

What motivates you to run? Why are you running 13.1 or 26.2 in October?

To get to the finish line, you’ll have to try lots of different paths.”
- Amby Burfoot

Last year when I first started running, I spent the majority of my time on the treadmill. I was slow (still am), didn’t enjoy running in the cold (still don’t), and didn’t want to go running with a bunch of people who would likely leave me in the dust (I’ve gotten over that one). After moving off of my treadmill and onto other courses, I’ve really come to appreciate the value of a good running path. I thought a good way to kick off my first training blog of the year would be to share my thoughts – pros and cons – of different routes for the neophyte who is starting this year where I was in early 2009.

The Treadmill in My Basement

Where it all started… I used to use my treadmill to hang wet laundry, but now my wife and I are putting enough mileage on it that it might be time for an upgrade. The big advantage of using a treadmill is that I can watch baseball games while I run, which is fun because the Reds are awesome this year. Also, the treadmill is perfect for runs that require controlled paces and distances, like intervals.

But there are a few things that limit how much I enjoy treadmill running. First, depending on when I run, sometimes the only thing on TV is a soccer game. Don’t get me wrong, I love to watch soccer. But I’ve made the mistake of starting my run at the beginning of a game. It’s disheartening to run for 45 minutes and feel like death, and then seeing Landon Donovan on TV at halftime of a game looking like he hasn’t even been challenged. The other downside? Two words: gripple trouble.

My Neighborhood

It should be easy for any of us to just step outside and start running. I have a pretty well-defined path that I follow through my neighborhood, so it’s easy to track mileage and prepare for changes in terrain.

The big downside to neighborhood runs happens on holiday weekends when the trash pickup is pushed back a day in the week. Several of my neighbors leave their trash at the curb for an extra day. It’s not pleasant when I can identify whose kids are still in diapers and who threw away a big part of their fish dinner earlier in the week just by running past their driveway. A second risk in my neighborhood is dogs. A couple weeks ago I was less than a mile into a planned 4-mile run when a vicious poodle nearly gnawed off my leg. My neighbors will tell you it was just a nip on my calf that barely drew blood, but to me it felt more like a shark attack. It was bad enough that my wife had to stop watching The Bachelorette with her friends to dress my wounds (read: “put a band-aid on it.”)

Blacklick Woods Metro Park

My first outdoor route… I love the running trail at Blacklick Woods. It’s relatively easy, well-marked, and safe. And the full loop is four miles, which is a good distance for my short-mileage run. The only negative about the path is that there aren’t a lot of hills, so if/when I run a course with a big change in elevation, I won’t be as prepared as I could be unless I branch out to other parks. Also, running a four mile loop means that on a 10-mile run I might get lapped by someone training for a 1:30 half marathon.

Olentangy-Scioto Trail

I’ve only run on the Olentangy-Scioto trail a couple of times, but if you work downtown or live close to the trail, then it’s a great resource for your training. It’s also especially great for cross-training on a bike, as it runs from German Village all the way up to Powell Rd. You can get in a 30-mile ride without any traffic issues. For me, the only con is that the closest connection point from my house is 12 miles away. If I’m going to use the trail, then I pretty much have to get my runs in after work, which isn’t easy on a humid summer day

I’m always interested in other people’s routes. What recommendations do our readers have for good places to run?

Also. if you’re in town this weekend, we hope to see all of you out at RunFest on Saturday, July 10 from 1 to 4 p.m. at Frog Bear & Wild Boar, located on the corner of Nationwide Blvd. and Front St. in downtown Columbus. There’s no admission and the event is open to the public. Best of all, there will be lots of free stuff – food, giveaways, live music, running-related exhibits, activities and more. Plus, you’ll be able to witness the unveiling of a brand new NBHCM event logo. Just come to hang out, have fun and kick off your training in style.

“If you want to accomplish the goals of your life, you have to begin with the spirit.”

– Oprah Winfrey

I can’t believe I’m opening my last blog post for the 2009 Nationwide Better Health Columbus Marathon with a quote from Oprah Winfrey, but it seemed very appropriate. Finishing a marathon or a half marathon is a great accomplishment, and without the right spirit it would be difficult to stay motivated. That’s part of the idea behind the Nationwide Better Health Columbus Marathon Spirit Awards; recognizing people who have overcome significant obstacles to achieve their goal of participating in the event.  So… don’t tell anyone, but I agree with Oprah on this one. You need to begin with the spirit in order to accomplish anything.

Now that the race has come and gone, I thought I’d use this final post to update you guys on my report card and share my race day experience with you. First, my report card:

1. Run two half marathons in 2009 and at least three 5K races

Grade: trending toward an A+

At the last update, I had run the Capital City Half Marathon and the Race for the Cure. Now I have added the Nationwide Better Health Columbus Half Marathon and the Homestretch 10-miler to my list of races in 2009. I’ve probably already exceeded this goal by subbing a 10-mile race for two 5Ks, but just to be safe I’m going to run another race – at least a 5K – before the end of the year.

2. Finish the Nationwide Better Health Columbus Half Marathon in less than 137 minutes

Grade: C

I improved my time from May, but didn’t meet this goal. That’s mostly because I spent about 6 weeks this summer injured and unable to train. Back in August, I said when I was finally healthy again that my revised goal was to finish the race without injury, and I accomplished that.

3. Reach my high school in-season weight of 160 lbs by race day in October

Grade: D

Again, the six weeks that I lost hurt my chances of hitting this goal. On race morning, I weighed 171 lbs, about 6 lbs more than my weight on the day I graduated and 11 lbs over my goal of weighing the same as I did during soccer season in high school. I’m going to extend this goal into December and revise my weight target to 165. That way I’ll be able to potentially get down to 160 in time for the spring races.

By my calculations that works out to a C average, which would be enough to keep me eligible, but nothing I’d write home about. Let’s not dwell on it and move on to my race day experience.

I wedged myself into the starting corral with my one of my closest friends – and a 2009 Nationwide Better Health Columbus Marathon Spirit Award winner – Aaron Irwin and his sister Jocelyn. This was Aaron’s first half marathon and my second, but his sister is an accomplished marathoner who ran Boston a few years ago. It probably pained her to move so slowly to keep pace with us, but I had warned her ahead of time that I wasn’t too proud to ask her to slow down. As the starting gun sounded, we took off our old sweats and tossed them into the crowd like everyone else. The sight of 15,000 people all throwing clothes in the air reminded me of middle-aged women at a Wayne Newton concert.

It took us almost five minutes to cross the starting line, but once we did, we set off at a nice even pace. The first familiar face I saw in the crowd was at Mile 1… my wife Jennifer was standing there shivering, but still smiling.

Those next two miles heading east on Broad Street were an easy run and got more and more scenic as we got deeper into the course. At the corner of Parkview and Broad we saw Aaron and Jocelyn’s parents, who snapped a few pictures of us turning north onto Parkview. As we headed up the street, the road got a lot narrower and everyone bunched together – it was snug, but still comfortable. About halfway up Parkview I saw my boss Jim, who gave me a shout of encouragement. I also got a high-five from Governor Strickland, who was standing on his front lawn with First Lady Frances Strickland cheering the runners on.

The run through the rest of Bexley was one of the highlights of the morning. The crowds were vocal, supportive, and very familiar faces to my running partners and me. During that three-mile stretch, we saw Aaron and Jocelyn’s parents one more time, and some other people that you most likely won’t know, but I want to give them a shout out, anyway – Gerry and Eileen, Susan H, Tom B, Ted S, and several other familiar faces were all cheering us on, with several other people screaming out Aaron’s and Jocelyn’s names as we ran past. We stopped for a few pictures, chatted with friends in the crowd and generally just enjoyed that stretch of the course.

Since most of our friends were lining the street in Bexley, the turn from Nelson Road past Franklin Park Conservatory and back to Broad Street gave us a chance to talk more without having to look for friends in the crowd. I told a couple of stories about my kids, Jocelyn saw a new friend either in the crowd or on the course every three minutes and Aaron kept plugging along, looking like an Abercrombie & Fitch model the whole time. We also caught up with Nicole G and ran with her for a couple miles.

I saw Jen once more as we made the turn south from Broad onto Monroe and then West onto Bryden, where we made a quick stop at the port-a-potties. While approaching City Center, we got a few words of encouragement from another friend of ours (a collective friend, not a “friend of ours” in the Sopranos “friend-of-ours” way) Emily H, who said that she has been reading the blog and that she read about Aaron’s Spirit Award along with the nine other amazing stories on the website.

The run south from downtown into German Village was pretty uneventful, save for about half a dozen guys from Aaron’s old basketball team screaming for him from the sidewalk close to The Book Loft on South Third Street. As we came to Schiller Park, I got a “Who Dey” from my friend Jon M, who was tracking his wife and sister-in-law as they were running their first marathon that morning.  Our lap around Schiller was a nice run and provided a great interlude to the uphill run back into downtown.

We could see the Nationwide building – our last turn before heading to the finish line – as we headed North through the Brewery District. I had to stop and stretch my leg a couple times, but was able to recover enough to handle the slight incline back into downtown. The final turn onto Nationwide Boulevard was like the scene in The Wizard of Oz when everything turns from black and white into color. It felt like there were ten thousand people cheering during that last 400 meters. We saw Aaron and Jocelyn’s parents, our friend Kevin R, and heard several people in the crowd screaming our names as we accelerated toward the finish line. The three of us crossed the finish line together in 2:29:02 feeling happy, exhausted, emotional, hungry, tired, proud, sore, and cold, but also looking forward to next year.

I’d love to hear your stories about race day. Please use the comment space below to tell us about your race day experience.  Thanks everyone!!!

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There are a lot of people who have helped me over the past several months with the blog – either directly or indirectly. I thought a good way to close my last post of the year would be to thank a few who have helped produce the blog, given me advice, or kept me motivated:

• Kara, Marwan, John, Christa, Todd, Carrie, Tim, Matt, Lisa, Kevin, Joe, Bill, Sara, Julie, Jocelyn, and all of my other runner friends: Thanks for the knowledge about Gu, Body Glide, stretching, and countless other things that I used in my training.
• The team at Huber+Co: Thanks for being willing to work the blog into the website. BTW – the TweetMyTime idea is a winner. That was awesome. My wife was able to track my half marathon progress because she could see my tweets via the Facebook application on her BlackBerry at the starting line and 10K mark. On a side note, had you told me fifteen years ago that someday I would write a sentence that included the words wife, half marathon, tweets, Facebook application, Blackberry, and 10K, I would’ve assumed I was writing it from a padded room.
• Sarah Irvin Clark and Scott Weaver: Thanks for all of the Facebook support, the tweets, and the traffic steerage to the blog. You are consummate professionals and have been a pleasure to work with.
• Ray Smithberger: I love the report card idea and will probably carry that forward in a few different parts of my life.
• Dr. Dennis Schone and Dr. Tony Blevins at HealthFirst Chiropractic in Pickerington, Sara Jacobowitz at Hands On Therapy in Gahanna and Dr. Jeff Bare: Without your help, I probably would have spent Sunday morning curled up on my couch with ice packs all over my body. I owe you each a huge debt of gratitude.
• Ted Hill: Your guest blog spot was hilarious. Thanks for being willing to put yourself out there and to needle me a little bit. Maybe next year I’ll join you for 26.2… Ask me again in a few months.
• Randy Benedict and the team at Second Sole: You guys REALLY know your stuff and have been a tremendous help. Without reservation, I’d recommend to any new runner that they head out to your store in Gahanna to absorb as much knowledge as they can from you guys.
• All of the readers and people who commented: You are the reason the blog works. Without comments and engagement from readers, then the blog is just a bunch of words on a screen. The comments and hits to the site are what really indicate whether the blog is useful or just the blogger’s useless drivel.
• Aaron Irwin: It was an inspiration to run 13.1 miles with you. I enjoyed every minute of it and look forward to us maybe doing it again next year.
• Jocelyn Irwin: Thanks for throttling back your normal pace to keep us company on Sunday.
• The brains of this operation, Ashley Heilman: A lot of readers probably don’t realize the amount of work this blog takes. The content of the blog is my style and my personality, but Ashley is the one who takes the time to turn my rambling commentary and fungus-like jokes into something that’s actually readable. Your countless hours spent improving the blog have not gone unnoticed. Thank you for all of your work over the last several months.
• My family: Thanks for the support and the comments, especially early on in the blog’s life when you were probably the only people reading it.
• My wife, Jen: I don’t think I even need to say it, which it good because words wouldn’t come close to expressing it. Thanks for being supportive through this whole crazy thing.

Take care everyone, and I hope to see you all next year!

Don’t do anything for the first time on race day. It’s not a time to experiment. If you always stretch before a long run and someone is telling you now that you shouldn’t, don’t listen to them. Same thing with new shoes, new socks, new GU flavors, etc. Avoid anything new on October 18 and stay in your comfort zone. If you think you need to switch sports drinks, then do it on your first run after the race. This piece of advice trumps anything else I’ve written below.

Go heavy on the body glide. You may not pay for it during the race, but you’ll definitely pay for it afterward.

Make sure you eat something before the race. I’m sure you’ll be smart enough to carb up in the days leading up to the race, but make sure you eat something that will sit well in your stomach for a few hours. Too heavy and you’ll need to stop during the race. Too light and you might not have enough of a calorie reserve to maintain your pace.

Be prepared to stand around for a while before the race. If it’s cold outside, bring your oldest and rattiest pair of sweats, or an otherwise tattered outfit to wear before the race. You’ll appreciate the warmth for every extra minute, and you’ll likely never see those clothes again after you take them off as you enter the starting corral.

Don’t be afraid to walk through the aid stations. That is, unless you’re trying to qualify for Boston or set a personal record. A ton of people walk through the aid stations to pick up water or Gatorade. There’s no shame in walking for a few seconds to replenish. Just make sure you are aware of others around you when you are doing so.

Bring an extra GU packet. Energy gel will be available on the course at mile 7.5 and 16, but it’s probably good to avoid a situation where you wish you had one but didn’t.

Don’t wear an iPod. I know that I’m a bit of a hypocrite on this one because I love my iPod for training, but there will be 65 bands and tens of thousands of people lining the course on race day.  If all that music and all those people yelling out encouragement to you can’t keep you motivated, then nothing will.  Trust me, you won’t need the iPod.

Bring your own watch. It will take you a little while to cross the starting line unless you’re up with the elite runners, so your start time will not be 00:00:00 on the official clock. It will be easier for you to track your pace if you start your watch once you hit the start line rather than trying to think through the pace calculations at each mileage marker.

In addition to the info above, there’s only one thing you need to remember as a first time runner. It happens to almost every first time marathoner and half-marathoner and is usually an absolutely critical mistake: whatever you do, don’t ever – EVER – even think about

Know anyone who wants to be a part of the NBHCM, minus the walking, running or wheelchair/handcycle racing? It takes more than 1,200 volunteers to put on the NBHCM every year. With nearly 15,000 athletes expected in Columbus on Oct. 18, it takes lots of support from the greater Central Ohio community to make the NBHCM a great experience for everyone. Any person or group is welcome to volunteer for the NBHCM. Numerous positions are still available, including support at the Expo on Friday and Saturday, course marshalls at stations throughout the course on race day and even finish line volunteers. It’s fun, easy, and also a great activity for any group that wants to support the event. Help do your part to make the NBHCM 30^th anniversary a year to remember. If you have family or friends who would like to help out, please send them to columbusmarathon.com/volunteers to sign up for one of the many volunteer opportunities.

Does anyone else out there have tips for race day?

Corral (noun)

An area before the starting line of a race where you realize that you forgot to put on your deodorant that morning; fortunately, the other 389 people squeezed into your 15×15 corral did the same, so there’s no reason to be embarrassed – everyone around you stinks, too: “The corral at the start of a half marathon reminds me of my high school locker room in mid-August.”

Finish Line (noun)

The point at which a person collapses and/or begins sobbing like a baby: “Every time I see Rudy tackle that guy from Georgia Tech in the movie, I hit the finish line.”

Lemon Sublime GU (noun)

Liquid energy; somewhat controversial, as some think it tastes like 8-week-old bananas whereas others would like to see GU-flavored desserts on the menu at The Burgundy Room: “We’ll have the carpaccio, the seared tuna, two glasses of the second-cheapest Malbec on the menu, and the Lemon Sublime GU-flavored crème brulee.”

Heart Rate Monitor (noun)

Something that seems like a cool idea when you buy it, but ends up never being used: “Buying flood insurance when you live at the top of a mountain is a heart rate monitor type of idea.”

Interval (verb)

The act of vomiting at regularly intermittent times while on a run; typically caused by the selection of a poor pre-race diet: “I had pizza and Beck’s Light on Monday night, and on my Tuesday morning run I had to interval every 800 meters.”

iPod (noun)

A device some people use to lose themselves… in the moment… you own it… you better never let it go… you only get one shot…

Negative Split (noun)

The theory that someone can pace themselves in such a way that the second half of their run is faster than the first half; typically associated with mermaids and unicorns, only slightly more rare for first-time runners: “The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is nothing but a negative split.”

Shin Splint (noun)

A pain like no other; the bane of many runners’ existence: “I know she gave birth to quadruplets after 43 hours of labor without an epidural, but it could’ve been worse. She could’ve had shin splints.” (Sorry Jen). (Sorry Mom).

Starting Line (noun)

That line that takes five minutes for me to cross because I’m starting in a corral that’s so far back, I have 90-year-olds with walkers passing me: “The race started 20 minutes ago, but I haven’t moved yet. I just want to start my iPod and maintain a negative split pace. If I don’t get out of this corral, I’m going to interval all over the place before I even reach the starting line.”

What new things have you learned in your training? Do you have any personal definitions to share?

“Let’s play two.”

– Ernie Banks

In this week’s post, I’d first like to thank my friend and colleague Ted Hill for his contributions to the blog last week. I hope you enjoyed the variety. I’d also like to congratulate Ted and his wife on the birth of their new baby girl. Congratulations, guys! Ted – does anyone make a three-seater running stroller? Might be worth looking into that for next year’s training…

Unfortunately, there will be no future guest bloggers and the rest of you are stuck with me from here on.

So it’s back to the topic of the week. The comments you posted here and Facebook traffic generated by the first post about my iPod playlist was so overwhelming that, similar to the Beatles Anthology, it makes sense to release volume two of songs on my workout mix. Please remember that I can in no way be held liable for injuries incurred while dancing to any of these songs during a training session.

“Dreams” by Van Halen

This is a great example of a training song with several changes of pace. Somehow I find myself daydreaming about crossing the finish line to this song, so I’d like to formally request to the Nationwide Better Health Columbus Marathon that Van Halen is scheduled as the band that plays closest to the finish line. That’s not too much to ask, right?

On a side note, I have a few friends who like to ponder whether Van Halen was better with David Lee Roth or with Sammy Hagar as their front man. The answer is a no-brainer, so I won’t even waste space discussing it here other than to say David Lee Roth is horrible and is more over-the-top than Flavor Flav. My friends who disagree have taste in music that is questionable, at best.

All you Sammy Hagar fans out there can feel free to leave comments below telling me how right I am and how my friends have horrible taste in music. Or, if you’d like to participate in a little social media experiment, you can tell my friends more directly just how poor their musical taste is by e-mailing them. Feel free to send your grievances (and appropriate insults) to Chris at cjhocevar@yahoo.com or to Bill at william.everett@cox.net. I’m sure they’ll appreciate hearing from you. Please tell them I said hello. Diamond Dave fans are going to have to wait until the blog is re-released in a coloring book version so they can share their comments.

“My Name is Jonas” by Weezer

The guitar riff in this song is perfect for interval training. Comedian Dane Cook does a funny bit about just walking up to random people on the street and singing the opening lyrics:

“My name is Jonas.

I’m carrying the wheel.

Thanks for all you’ve shown us.

This is how we feel.”

Irrespective of how funny you think it might be, don’t do that as you’re passing someone while you’re running unless you’d like an eyeful of mace. Also, the police officer who comes to investigate won’t believe it was a joke and may try to have you committed and/or incarcerated. Just trust that I know what I’m talking about on this one.

Also, I’d discourage you from listening to several other Weezer songs, most notably “Undone – The Sweater Song,” during your workouts. It’s easy to make the mistake of imagining the lyrics actually happening to someone during a break-up (“if you want to destroy my sweater hold this thread as I walk away”) and laughing so hard that you have to stop to catch your breath. That may be the greatest and most stupid song lyric of all time.

“What’s the Frequency Kenneth” by R.E.M.

Since high school, I’ve gone back and forth as to whether I loved R.E.M. or if I couldn’t stand them. Every time I hear this song, I remember why I sometimes like them so much. I think this is the best possible wake-me-up song for the first mile of an early morning run. As long as nobody makes me listen to “Orange Crush” ever again I’ll probably maintain my fandom. Three little know facts about this song:

• The beat actually slows down from the beginning to the end of the song because during studio recording, R.E.M. bassist Mike Mills was in pain from having appendicitis and couldn’t keep up. The band never re-recorded it for their album.
• The title of this song references an incident in the mid-1980s when a crazy person physically assaulted Dan Rather while screaming “what’s the frequency, Kenneth?” at him the whole time.
• The crazy person who assaulted Dan Rather eventually discovered transcendental meditation and became the Dalai Lama.

“The Rockafeller Skank” by Fatboy Slim

Some of you probably know this as the “right about now…funk soul brother, check it out now… funk soul brother” song from the late 1990s. Those are pretty much the only lyrics in this song, which in my mind will always be tied to a bad Freddy Prinze Jr. movie. Wait … is there any other kind of Freddy Prinze Jr. movie? Anyway, the song is great, regardless of its pedigree.

I’m not much of a techno fan, but something about Fatboy Slim music makes me ready to charge up a hill. In fact, on a couple of runs I quickly skipped my iPod to this song in an effort to keep my pace when approaching a steep incline. I’m not sure if it really works or if I’ve just convinced myself that it does, but this song definitely makes me think I can handle anything in front of me.

I’d like to close this week’s post with a special offer for you — I’ll grant some Nationwide Better Health Columbus Marathon bonus points to those of you who already knew the first two little-known facts about “What’s the Frequency, Kenneth.” I think you’ll be able to redeem those points at the pre-race Expo for a three-mile head start on race day. Just look for the guy in the orange shirt and tell him your name is Jonas and that Kenneth told you the frequency. And to those who didn’t realize the Dalai Lama reference was a joke, please remove the Crayolas from your nostrils and stop arguing the David Lee Roth counterpoint. Your efforts are futile.

A few questions to get the comments rolling:

• What else do you have on your workout mix?
• Has anything rotated off the mix because you heard it too much?
• Which of the summer 2009 anthems have you added to your workout playlist?
• Do you think the Black Eyed Peas’ “Boom Boom Pow” is destined to be one of the greatest bad songs of all time (think “Ice, Ice, Baby”) or one of the worst good songs ever (think “Paradise by the Dashboard Light”)?

“Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever.”

– Lance Armstrong

Over the last few months, I have received a lot of advice about from trainers, a chiropractor, a massage therapist, and other runners (and I say “other runners” instead of just “runners” because I now consider myself fully assimilated) about how to avoid injuries. I’ve had to work through some pain this year, primarily IT band pain and shin splints, so I can kind of speak from experience, if not expertise.

Here are a few things I’ve learned in my attempt to remain injury-free:

1. Wearing flip flop sandals is a big mistake.

I’m a simple guy. If I’m not at work, on the golf course, or mowing the lawn, then I’m wearing flip flops. When I’m at home they’re the $3 Old Navy rubber version and when I’m out they’re nicer Banana Republic ones with leather straps. As far as I’m concerned, flip flops are made for summer, and summer is made for flip flops. Unfortunately, they’re not very good for maintaining healthy legs.

When I initially started experiencing leg pain, I went into Second Sole to ask what I should do. Their first suggestion was to drop the flip flops and always wear something on my feet that provides support. Now instead of kicking it Buffet-style (Jimmy, not Warren) in warm months, I’m wearing shoes. Flip flops apparently are not very supportive for a runner’s foot. Sometimes it feels like I might as well be wearing a burqa, but I’ve learned to adjust.

Fortunately, I have also learned a few ways to cheat the new “no flip flop” policy imposed on me by the tyrants at Second Sole. Otherwise, I’d have to buy an entirely new summer wardrobe. My bowling shirt and khaki shorts ensemble just wouldn’t look as hip with New Balance sneakers.

• First way to cheat: Use valet parking liberally. It doesn’t matter where I’m going, I will always find a restaurant that has valet parking – even if I’m not going to that restaurant. This is especially easy in the Short North, Arena District, German Village and Easton. Using valet service means I don’t have to walk as far, and therefore my flip flops are mostly just for decoration. And if you’ve seen my toes, you’d know that decoration is needed.
• Second way to cheat: Wear your flip flops if you’re going someplace where you’ll be able to sit down. You can still look good and casual in your flip flops if you’re just going to get someplace and sit – like at a Columbus Clippers game, a child’s soccer game, or an outdoor patio bar. Just make sure you’re not going someplace with standing room only.
• Third way to cheat: There is no third way to cheat. I just thought my list should have at least three entries.

In summary, to avoid leg pain as a runner, try to not wear flip flops.  And please don’t flood the comments section with stories about how you have seen me around town wearing my flip flops. I already told you that I cheat on this rule every so often.

2. Stretch at least daily, and for a long period after a run.

When I first started running earlier this year, I completely underestimated the importance of stretching after a run and overestimated the importance of stretching before a run. I used to stretch extensively before each run, spending 10-15 minutes getting loose. Once I had my first shin splint experience, I started to read up and ask some experts. They generally told me the same thing – it’s good to spend a couple of minutes stretching before a run, but I should spend 15-20 minutes after each run stretching.

I’m sure everyone has their own process, but after each run I start from the hips and move down. I do figure-four hip stretches, butterflies to stretch my groin, hurdlers to stretch my quads, toe-touch stretches for my hammies, a yoga-like face-down figure-four stretch to loosen my IT bands, and then several different stretches for my calves.  All-in-all, I spend about 3-5 minutes on each body part, which means that my stretching after a run can last upwards of 20 minutes.

After stretching, I reach into the freezer for the ice, which brings me to the third thing I’ve learned to prevent injury…

3. Ice massage and/or cold wraps are your best friends.

I own two icepacks that I use at least twice a day. One is a pack that fits into a sleeve that I can wrap and velcro around my leg. The other is more of a soft gel pack that is good for icing my entire shin. The icepacks are also good for my 6-year-old son. As a sign of solidarity, or an illustration that he understands my pain, or quite possibly a joke about how much of a wimp his dad is, my son has on a couple of occasions sat next to me and iced his legs to relieve the pain from a long day of eating peanut butter crackers, jumping off the diving board at the pool, and watching Star Wars cartoons.

When I feel like I need a deeper icing than what the icepacks will give me, I give myself an ice massage, which is almost as glamorous as it sounds. To give yourself an ice massage, do the following:

1. Get ice
2. Rub it on your leg
3. Repeat

I get really fancy with my ice massages… I fill several large wax Dixie cups with water and stick them in the freezer. When I am ready to use one, I rip off the top of the cup and start rubbing it on my leg. As the ice melts, I just peel off more of the cup and keep rubbing. Typically, I ice my legs while eating breakfast each morning and before going to bed at night. I also ice after every single run and most cross-training sessions.

Honorable mention activities for reducing pain and/or likelihood of injury include using ibuprofen to relieve inflammation and eating more bananas after a run than the entire monkey population at the Columbus Zoo eats in a month in order to prevent cramping. Sorry ibuprofen and bananas, you’ll have to try again next year.

BTW – if you happen to work at a restaurant in one of the aforementioned parts of town and have parked my car once (or twice… or several times) before, please don’t rat me out to the team at Second Sole. I’m sure those guys aren’t faithful readers of the blog and will probably never know.

What are your tips for injury prevention?

P.S. – Please make sure you’re sitting down before you read this. Are you sitting? OK.

The next “Why Am I Running 13.1 if Nobody is Chasing Me?” post will be from a special guest blogger. I feel like I owed it to you to warn you in advance. I’ll award a free elevator pass for the Nationwide Plaza 1 elevators – odd floors only – to anyone who can guess who he is. The Nationwide Corporate Strategy team is excluded from this promotion.

I just ask that you please take it easy on him. He’s definitely not as funny as I am and not nearly as charming, but please give him a big Bronx welcome anyway. Even though he hates puppies, infants and your grandma’s apple pie. And is a rabid fan of the University of Michigan.

Don’t worry, I’ll be back.

“A run begins the moment you forget you are running”

- Adidas

A few posts ago, I talked about how hooked I am on running with my iPod. I’m still hooked on it for treadmill training, as I still find “gripple trouble” to be an entertaining concept. But over the last several weeks, I’ve worked hard to overcome my iPod dependency when running outdoors. If I would run in the afternoons, then I’d probably still use the iPod. But since I usually run in the pre-dawn through either my ridiculously safe suburban neighborhood or a ridiculously safe metro park, I’m well aware of the need for me to be able to hear an ax-wielding stranger wearing a hockey mask sneaking up behind me. Or a car. Whatever.

To take my mind off hockey masks and cars, I usually let my mind wander in between mileage checkpoints, which I define as “the points at which I look at my watch to see how far I am behind my goal pace.” I thought it would be interesting to share with you the narrative in my head while on a short training run.

Not many people know this, but runs can always be broken into down into several stages, similar to the Tour de Lance. Each stage can be clearly identified by what’s going through your mind at that moment in time. Really! You can look it up. It’s as much a scientific fact as photosynthesis. Here’s what I’m thinking at each stage of a run:

Stage 1: Typically < 0.5 miles

“Geez my legs hurt. I don’t think I can run the whole distance. Maybe I’ll cut it short. Show some determination, you wimp. Those people need to trim their grass along the sidewalk – the neighborhood is going to the dogs. Wish that house would turn their sprinklers off, because I don’t want to get wet. I shouldn’t have eaten that Clif Bar.”

This is the “I’d Rather be Chewing Broken Glass than Doing This” stage. At this point, it takes all of the energy and discipline that I have to not just turn around, go home, and eat a box of pop tarts for breakfast.

Stage 2: Typically 0.25 miles

“I’m going too fast. No, I’m going too slow. I’m too cold but my feet are too hot. Boy, I’m hungry, but I already ate. I’m thirsty, but I don’t want my water. I think my shoelace is coming untied. No? Then my shoes are probably too tight. These shorts are going to give me runner’s rash. My ears hurt. Do I look fat in this? Shut up, I wasn’t asking you.”

This is my “Whining like a Sommelier” stage. By this point, I’ve decided to continue my run but I’m not very happy with myself. This stage is purely transitional. I always get past it and on to the next stage.

Stage 3: Anywhere from 0.25 miles to 2.0 miles

“If I won the Mega Millions, I’d definitely get a couple more pairs of these synthetic socks. And maybe an iPhone. Ty Pennington is somehow overrated and underrated at the same time. Is my fake Boston accent as bad as my wife says it is? It would be cool to find a real flux capacitor. I bet if I had really applied myself in college, I could have triple-majored in neuroscience, nuclear physics and biomechanical engineering and won a Nobel Prize.

This is the stage where there are no limits. Maybe I’m thinking about time travel or maybe I’m thinking about a project at work. This is obviously my “Daydreaming About Random Things” stage.

Stage 4: Anywhere from 0.1 to 8.0 miles

“I can run forever. I can’t believe I feel this good.”

This is runner’s high. Sometimes runner’s high comes and goes in the blink of an eye. Other times it sticks with you for an hour or longer. The key to any good run is getting to this stage. Without runner’s high, you’re just a hamster on a wheel.

Stage 5: Typically the last 100 yards

“Wow, I feel like I really accomplished something this morning. I can’t believe I’ve kept this strong of a pace. Which of my 38 sore muscles should I stretch first? I wish I had an icepack. If someone is using my spot at the stretching station I might have to get my ax and hockey mask out of the trunk.”

I call this the “I Can See the Finish Line and Everything is Real Again” Stage.  At this point, my mind has moved on to whatever I’m going to do to recover from the run and how late I am for whatever I’m supposed to be doing next.

What goes through your mind when you’re out on a run? Any funny thoughts? Good stories?

Eric’s GOALS Report Card

We’re probably way past the time that I should have given you an update on my annual goals. Here’s where things stand right now, and before you ask the question, yes – I’m very aware that my grades have slipped.

1. Run two half marathons in 2009 and at least three 5k races

Grade: B (down from an A earlier in the summer)

The Nationwide Better Health Columbus Half Marathon will be my second half marathon this year. I have already raced one 5k, but don’t have any other scheduled for the year. I’m coming off an injury, and trying not to deviate from my training plan so I don’t put my second half marathon at risk. If I’m going to hit this goal in 2009, I’m going to have to run two 5K races after the half marathon in October.

2. Finish the Nationwide Better Health Columbus Half Marathon in less than 137 minutes

Grade: D

Barring something dramatic happening, I’m going to miss this target. I finished a training run in Central Park while on vacation back in July, and had such horrible shin pain afterward that I was concerned I had a stress fracture and not just a bad case of shin splints. After a couple rounds of x-rays and more than four weeks of rest and icing at least twice a day, I’m finally running again without any pain. My revised goal is to just get through training and finish the race without injury.

3. Reach my high school in-season weight of 160 lbs by race day in October

Grade: B (down from an A- earlier this summer)

Since my training has been somewhat curtailed, my weight has not dropped any further. In fact, I’ve gained a couple of pounds in the last month. I’m hoping that getting back into training will help me push below 170 and come close to my goal. At this point I’d say my goal of reaching 160 is at-risk, but I can probably get back to my out-of-season high school weight of 165.

Have you experienced any recent injuries or barriers to achieving your goals? What adjustments have you made to help overcome your challenges?

“To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art.”
- La Rochefoucauld

Well-said, French guy. I couldn’t agree more. One of the things I didn’t expect to be such an issue when I first started training was nutrition. I don’t want to get into the specifics of which foods are scientifically proven to do what, mainly because I’d be out of my depth after letting you know that Belushi lied – chocolate donuts and cigarettes aren’t the breakfast of champions.

Instead I’ll just tell you what has and hasn’t worked for me, as well as how I eat before and during a run.

I’ve tried to maintain a fairly low-carbohydrate diet for a while. This means that I eat a lot of poultry, seafood, lean meats, beans, vegetables, some whole grains and low-fat dairy. I try to avoid sugary foods, potatoes and breads that aren’t 100 percent whole grain. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy pasta or a pizza every now and then, but those instances are the exceptions to my rule. I still have to satisfy those cravings once in a while. Plus, my wife is half Italian, which means she would consider the elimination of pasta and pizza from my diet as legitimate grounds for divorce.

In the weeks leading up to the start of my training program, I adjusted my diet to include eating some more carbohydrates – primarily fruits with some more whole grains mixed in there every few days – but the bulk of what I ate was still proteins. I knew I was going to need some carbohydrates for energy and to replenish myself after grueling training sessions, but I completely underestimated what it would take to train. During my very first weekend distance run, I found out the hard way that having a low-carbohydrate diet when you’re in training is as good an idea as trying to ride a bicycle blindfolded. Three miles into my four-mile run, I completely bonked. I just didn’t have the carbohydrate reserves I needed. I felt like Superman after Lex Luthor put the kryptonite necklace on him (and yes, I realize that I just compared myself to Superman… I promise it won’t happen again). In order to finish the distance, I had to grab a couple spoonfuls (ok, fingerfuls) of peanut butter and a granola bar, and even then I had to walk more than half of that last mile.

Some research and a quick poll of a few of my runner friends confirmed that I was a complete moron and had absolutely no clue what I was doing. They all told me I needed to load up on carbs, and they all said it in a disappointed and condescending tone that indicated I frankly should’ve known better. After the bonking debacle I tried to maintain a low-carbohydrate diet through the week and then compensate for it during my training runs. That was a little better but still presented some challenges. I would eat three Power Bars over the course of six miles and have a full stomach by the time I was done. Too heavy. Then I tried eating a piece of fruit during a run. Not enough nourishment. Then I switched from three Power Bars to two Clif Bars. Too heavy again… After a few weeks of trial and error, I figured out how to adjust my diet to have the energy to complete the mileage on my training plan without feeling heavy or sluggish. Here’s what works for me:

• Cross-training days: My cross-training is lower-impact and is pretty much always on my bicycle rather than in a pool, so I’m okay with my regular low-carbohydrate diet. But I do try to have fruit and/or a Clif Bar about an hour before getting on the bike.
• Tempo run days: For me it’s as simple as eating the right amount of carbohydrates in the hours leading up to the tempo runs. If my run is going to be early in the morning then I’ll have a plate of whole wheat pasta the night before. If my run is going to be in the evening then I’ll have whole wheat pasta for lunch that same day. If the distance is going to be more than a few miles then I’ll carbo-load for two meals. I also always have a Clif Bar about an hour before any run longer than four miles.
• Distance run days: My pre-run diet for distance runs is exactly the same as it is for tempo runs. But when I got up to the 8-mile and 10-mile runs, I had a new issue…  I would feel like Steve Prefontaine (the next best comparison I could think of was Bruce Jenner, but I don’t wanna go there) for the first six or seven miles, but after that it was difficult to maintain my energy level. It seems that my carb-loading had gotten me to the point where I was well-prepared for the intermediate distances, but for anything more than that I was hitting the wall again.

I needed to know what I should be eating during the long runs and I needed to figure it out quickly. This was no time for further experimentation, so I called on three of my runner friends for some expert advice. Randy, Kara and Christa all said the same thing: buy some GU. For those who don’t know, GU is an energy gel. One packet contains only 100 calories but has ingredients that prevent “bonkage” (that term is trademarked and is not to be used without express written permission of Eric Motter, Inc.).

The general consensus was that GU was the best thing out there because a pouch of it would fit in my pocket, it would be light in my stomach once ingested, and it would give me the energy boost to avoid future bonks. According to my friends, the only downside of GU was that it tasted like liquid evil. One told me to have Gatorade handy to wash the taste out of my mouth as quickly as possible. Another told me to mentally go to my happy place before opening a packet. I was picturing myself as one of those people on Survivor who has to eat a huge live insect without spitting it out, but I was desperate so I was willing to try it.

I went to Second Sole and started asking questions. I learned I could choose between several caffeinated or decaffeinated flavors. I like my caffeine, but there’s a limit. A few years ago I didn’t drink coffee at all. Then I started drinking it with tons of cream and sugar. Then I started drinking it black. Now I’m to the point where if I didn’t have water I could probably just chew coffee grounds and be happy. That said, I didn’t think it would be good for me to ingest caffeine during a long run. Early on in my training, I tried having a cup of coffee a couple hours before a run and felt too jittery to finish. I ended up leaving Second Sole with a couple packets of Lemon Sublime GU without caffeine.

A few days later, at the 4-mile mark on my next 8-mile run, I pulled out a packet, ripped the top off, squeezed the contents into my mouth and focused all of my Chi on not throwing up… no problem. Fortunately my friends were right about the energy boost but wrong about the taste. If you like the filling in Hostess fruit pies, then you’ll like GU. And those pouches really work. My energy level didn’t drop through the entire run. Over a few weeks of training, I got comfortable with having a GU packet about every four miles or so, and went through 4 packets in my first half-mary. I’ll probably go through three or four packets for the Nationwide Better Health Columbus Half Marathon.

Question for you readers – How do you adjust your diet when you’re training?  Does it change for long runs relative to short runs?  What do you eat during a race?